The 2019 Melrose, MA mayoral candidates were each invited to tell a mortifying story at an event sponsored by Melrose Organizes for Real Equality (MORE) to benefit Follow Your Art Community Studios. It was terrifying to prepare for but ended up going quite well! The video is only available on Facebook and my story starts around 13:30; here’s a transcript of the story I shared.
Growing up, I had the opportunity to visit India roughly every four years – I think my first visit was around when I was six months old. Most of these trips would be spent visiting relatives — both of my parents are from Northern India. My mom’s siblings and parents all ended up in the US and Canada, but she still has many aunts and uncles and cousins in India. My dad’s parents and siblings stayed in India, though he has some cousins in the US and around the world.
Most of these India trips would be dominated by hanging around at relatives’ homes. Everyone would try to make our favorite foods, which would get a little overwhelming and heavy – but the love expressed through food was always evident. We’d also do a little sightseeing and shopping along the way. But as I got older, these trips started to feel a little confining — I wasn’t always allowed to go off exploring on my own.
So when the opportunity to take a trip to Southern India with cousins my age came up in my early twenties, I jumped at the chance. My cousin Mayank and I had fancy espresso drinks in the cosmopolitan IT hub Bangalore, we explored archaeological ruins in a remote section of Karnataka, and we saw Mysore Palace in a city renowned for yoga.
One of the most memorable parts of this trip was our trip to Goa. Goa is a coastal state with amazing beaches that draw tourists from all over the world. It was colonized by the Portuguese in the 16th century, giving it a distinctly different feel than many other parts of India.
When Mayank and I arrived in Goa, I was just getting over a bout of food poisoning and craved something familiar. So, get ready to judge me I guess, because I know both multinational chain restaurants and pizza toppings are a source of great controversy and debate. Right outside our hotel was a Domino’s pizza. I’m always really grateful that I’m 3 months older than Monu because he’s 6-feet tall and he feels like he has to take on a patronizing caregiver role with me – but I just pull rank by age. He tried talking me out of ordering a pizza – and a few minutes later, I was happily enjoying a Hawaiian pizza – yes, ham and pineapple, in my hotel room, where I enjoyed my personal size pizza in front of the TV and watched the Meg Ryan and Kevin Kline movie French Kiss.
The next day, my cousin Akhil, who we call Sonu, arrived, and we explored the beaches all day. One of my favorite Bollywood movies, Dil Chahta Hai, had just come out around that time and featured young people like ourselves taking a trip to Goa’s amazing forts and beaches – we spent the day recreating those scenes and taking photos. My tummy was also way better — so I kept trying to convince Monu and Sonu to try Thai food or Portuguese food — for me, when I was feeling good at least, I’d always found comfort in a diversity of options. But they insisted on their own version of comfort food — the same Indian meal I felt I’d had every night while on this trip – dal fry, roti, potatoes…
It was December 30, and that night, we were having such a great time – we really wanted to maximize our time together. We figured we’d be out partying on New Year’s Eve, so maybe let’s do something really chill that night instead. It might have been me who had the brilliant idea of hanging out on the beach all night until sunrise.
We sat up on the night – I remember it being calm and peaceful – we probably took turns dozing and chatting, waiting for the sun to rise over the water. Around 5am we each looked at each other, totally perplexed. How was it light out already, we couldn’t see the sun at all!
I remember the realization dawning on us, if you will.
Goa is on the west coast of India. The sun had risen behind us. We were mortified! And laughed for a long, long time.
The next night, on New Year’s Eve, we got ready to hit the clubs to bring in the new year. But we could barely make it through dinner – we kept falling asleep!
This trip was such a special memory for me — I learned a lot about my own distinct identity as an Indian-American — and also got to learn how the bonds of family can transcend culture and place, and live in our hearts forever.